It is tempting to approach Lent with a heavy sigh. Another Lent. Another set of resolutions, many of which I’m going to struggle to remember, let alone keep, another 40 days that are going to remind me how not good enough a Catholic I am, another Easter at which I want to rejoice, but somehow feel I don’t deserve to. In trying to prepare for Lent this year though, I realised all my reservations had all to do with me, and nothing to do with God. If I made Lent about what I could or could not do, even if those things were prayer, fasting and almsgiving, then of course it would feel like a repeating season of failure – absolute futility. What if, though, Lent is all about repetition: 40 days of waking up and remembering, again, that I am a sinner but I have a saviour; 40 days of waking up and remembering, again, that God wants me back now, not after I’ve become a better person, a better mother, a better wife, a better Catholic, now, just as I am; 40 days of waking up and remembering, again, that we are called not just to be ‘good people’, but to be saints – to be like Christ in everything; 40 days of waking up and remembering, again, that that is impossible without Him, but that nothing is impossible with Him? What if Lent is God saying a bit louder, every day, ‘it’s okay, try again’?
Well, then Lent is an opportunity. Increased prayer: more opportunities to hear Him; fasting: opportunities to make space for Him (and the hunger an opportunity to remember His call); almsgiving: opportunities to feed Him, clothe Him, set Him free. Shifting the focus from what I can (or can’t) do in Lent to looking for God looking for me has made this Lent, 4 days in, already a more restful, God-filled experience. Just like I know my 1 year old’s need for repetition (how is the thousandth time he throws a toy out of the bath still hilarious?) is helping him grow in his understanding of the world and our relationship, God knows I need repetition – both in terms of the 40 days, and the fact that we have Lent every year – to grow in my understanding of my role in this world and our relationship.
Val Writes Again 